Brain Spiders

The last few days when people come to help me
the spiders pour out from my brain and crawl on them.

I try to stop the spiders with clenched teeth,
or with hands over my ears or eyes.
As their sickening alternatives present themselves
my own reasonable options fall below.

Fuck, it screams, shit. Smash it all and let them burn.
Another part wants silence (but it will never get silence).
The third part…
The third part is far too afraid of silence to ever let that happen.

It plays itself out as … Continue reading

PTSD, a Poem

My devil is a sick and profane companion.

When he wrings out the cloth of my mind
and finds my frequent failures
and pathetic attempts —
on the days my devil is Depression, he tells me
to stop struggling. Relax.

It’s peaceful only by comparison to other days.

Because my devil is not Depression every day.

On the days my devil is Fear, Panic, Anxiety
he runs to and fro,
wildly waving his hands
with my fears and future held,
one in each hand.

He menaces me with them
like a … Continue reading